Access Denied
This happened a few months back and I’ve been meaning to write it up for ages now. I teased a bit of it in my last post, So much to update, but I think it warrants its own post.
Back in the height of the summer, we made use of the annual ‘kid’s week’ which is a possibly under-appreciated way to get kids to West End (that’s the name for the theatre district of London for any of my more global followers) shows. The name is a bit odd because it now covers a period of about a month in the summer holidays. The idea is that ‘kids go free’ although the booking process is a bit convoluted in that you really get half price tickets (presumably on the basis that you’re taking a child) but it works out a bit funny when the ratio of adults and children isn’t 1:1.
Understandably tickets sell out very quickly, especially for the popular shows, so you have to be ready to move quickly once they come on sale and be a bit flexible as to which show/date/time you might want to see. We managed to get tickets to two shows: the whole family to go and see Zog and the Flying Doctors, which is very much aimed at younger kids; and Matilda for just Piglet, my wife and I.
As I say, you have to be a bit flexible for dates and the only date I could realistically get Matilda for in the end was our wedding anniversary. Taking our eldest to the theatre may not sound like the most romantic wedding anniversary celebration ever, but with 3 kids you have to pick your nights out pretty carefully and actually this would be far more of a treat than we would usually be able to organise!
We booked grandparents to stay and put the youngest two to bed while we headed out to the big city! Eating without Griffin is at least a little bit easier and while we didn’t book anywhere to eat, we researched a couple of options in the centre of London near the theatre that would work for us. We ended up opting for Spaghetti House, a small chain of London-only Italian restaurants. I actually managed to take us to a different one to the one we’d originally identified (such is their close proximity in this part of London – there’s only 7 in total!). The one I ended up taking us to was their Cranbourn Street restaurant in Leicester Square.
Part of the reason we’d chosen Spaghetti House is that they had very clear allergen information on line, with allergens including even ‘may contains’ for every dish. Understandably, it comes with the warning that they cannot 100% guarantee that ingredients will be allergen free, given the nature of the kitchen. Given the nature of our allergies which means we generally handle cross contamination and only need to avoid our allergens as specific ingredients, we thought that would work well for us; and the clear allergen information gave us confidence that they would be happy to help us. Or so we thought…
Despite being a busy Friday night and the restaurant looking fairly busy, we didn’t have to wait too long for a table and treated ourselves to a cocktail, a mocktail and something at least more interesting than fizzy water for Piglet while we chose from the menu. In truth, having looked beforehand and with my wife fairly limited in what she can have in order to avoid passing allergens on in breastmilk to Griffin, we pretty much already knew what we’d end up choosing.
When it came to placing our food order, we were asked if we had any allergens to which I replied yes and once we explained what they were, it was explained that the manager would need to take our order. That’s not too unusual although it was interesting that it seemed like if we’d have only had one allergen, that would not have reached the threshold for escalation. When the manager eventually came to take our order, you could see his discomfort when my wife listed the allergens she’d need to avoid. Naturally for simplicity, we communicate it as my wife having an allergy where in truth she’s not actually allergic to any of the foods, it’s my son who can’t eat milk, soya, egg, fish, celery, crustaceans. I then make it worse by adding that I can’t eat peanuts. To be clear we’ve already made sure that there are at least a couple of options on the allergen menu that fit that requirement and we make it very clear that we can handle cross contamination.
I struggle to remember the exact sequence of events but I think the manager’s first reaction is concern as to whether they really cater for us at all, the number of allergens appearing to be the area of concern. I explain that we’ve already checked our allergens against the allergen menu and repeat that we appreciate the risk of cross contamination. He takes our order but stresses that it may take some time because of all the processes they’ll have to introduce in the kitchen.
After a while he comes back and tells us that he’s spoken to the chef and that he sadly feels that he cannot safely cater for us given our allergies. He says that he would be happy to waive the bill for our drinks by way of apology but does not feel that it would be safe for us to eat there. I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve ever had that reaction when ordering having already checked an allergen menu. Again, the issue seems to be the number of allergens, rather than any one in particular.
By this point, I’d suggest we’ve already been sat in the restaurant for 30 minutes and it’s pretty clear that we won’t manage to get food at another restaurant and still make it on time for our booking at the theatre. Given this, and in some part emboldened by having our son with us and feeling like I needed to stand up for my family, I push back; asking what specifically about our order it is that they cannot cater for. Given that we’ve ordered in direct conjunction with their own allergen menu and that we understand the inherent risks, I struggle to understand why the number of allergens makes our order harder for them to satisfy than 7 people separately ordering food each with one of our allergens (that presumably would not have also been turned away).
I think (and have been told by my wife) that I managed to stay pretty calm and reasonable in the situation but I was certainly feeling anger and misjustice under the surface. I explained that we would not be able to find another restaurant in time to make our booking at the theatre and that even if we could, there was surely no reason for us to think that we would be safer ordering from a different allergen menu. I even offered to sign something confirming that we had formally acknowledged the risk they were telling us of, if it meant we could place our order. The manager was not keen to have me sign anything – presumably as adding written evidence made the risk far worse. Eventually he did agree to take our order but only on a very clear disclaimer that they could take no responsibility if we were to have a reaction, a point that was very heavily repeated, to the point of laughable absurdity, every time food was brought to the table.
The food was actually fantastic and based on the quality of the food and drink alone I would be flowing with praise, but naturally the experience left me feeling pretty frustrated.
I will say, I am slightly conflicted about what to say about this. On one hand, if this manager felt that the allergy management processes at his restaurant were not up to scratch then I feel I should actually (and genuinely) applaud him for warning us that we may not be safe to eat there. It would surely have been easier for him to keep quiet and hide behind the supposed safety of the allergen menu that presumably exists for all the restaurants in the chain identically. However, I feel quite sure that it was the number of allergens that we mentioned that caused the red flags and that is a problem if so. If they feel that they can cater (without modifying the meal) for someone with any one of our allergens, then the fact that many come together should not change the level of risk. I can only assume that fear of litigation made this manager assume that refusing to serve us would be the best outcome.
What further frustrates me is that it encourages people like me to play down or second guess our allergy risk. I am lucky that my allergy does not present with acute symptoms like anaphylactic shock but it is an allergy and I will be pretty miserable and in quite some pain and discomfort for days if I end up eating any significant quantity of milk products. But I also can be pretty sure that it was unlikely that my Bolognese was unlikely to have peanut in it; so it makes it tempting to just guess or use the allergen menu alone without stating the allergy when ordering. Something that shouldn’t in practice help either me or the restaurant.
I hope that there are not lots of other people who have had the same experience as me. It’s not pleasant to be told to leave a restaurant with your family, especially when it forms part of the celebration of a special event. And a younger me probably would have just left with my tail between my legs. It’s worth pointing out that none of us had any reactions on the back of the meal and I was never really in doubt that the food would be safe for us to eat. But it does sadden me the level of fear that mentioning our allergies creates.
On a more positive note, I was blown away by the performance of Matilda and I think my son was transfixed from start to finish (and then listening to it again and again over the days and weeks that followed). It actually still was a lovely evening and I enjoyed spending quality time with my wife and eldest, and even taking some pride in standing up for my family and making sure that we could at least get some food.
I don’t know exactly what I would suggest or like to happen on the back of this experience. I will highlight this experience to the restaurant (I should have done it sooner and hope it doesn’t weaken the feedback for being some time after the event) but I don’t expect anything to come out of it personally. But it would be a positive if just some review of training or allergy management could lead to one less family walking the path we walked that night. To me, either the manager needs training on handling orders with multiple allergies (and identifying whether multiple allergies really does represent a compounded risk), or the restaurant chain needs better allergy management so that this manager is more confident for people with allergies to be able to eat there safely.
If you have a particular view on what should or shouldn’t have happened in this situation, I’m very keen to hear. Please comment below.
Toodlepips x