Parenting – a walk in the park

Today we, you guessed it, went for a walk in the park. Black Park in Buckinghamshire to be precise. It felt like a bit of a best-bits compilation to be honest with a few of the events and food from 2018 all rolled into one family trip special. I’ve mentioned that Piglet has vowed, gallantly – I must add, to do 150 hours outside in 2019 and I’m keen to get being outside as something exciting that he looks forward to ahead of, hopefully, copious camping this summer. Well today we all headed outside to at least make one half of the weekend not a complete and utter shit-show. (Explanation to follow).

We knew we had to get out of the house today as we didn’t really manage to do much yesterday (Saturday). Saturday wasn’t a personal highlight for me. It wasn’t even one of the best days in 2019 and we’ve only had 8 of those so far! We’ve been without a washing machine for a couple of weeks now as it died on us just before Christmas. (I’m glaring in your direction, Samsung, if you’re wondering!). It’s being fixed (hopefully) on Thursday – my birthday if I haven’t mentioned that enough already – which means I have to stay in all day, sadly. As a result, I’ve spent more time than I would have liked to hand-washing in our bathroom sink and twiddling my thumbs sat awkwardly in our local launderette. Saturday morning was such a morning – Piglet had awoken at 6am to go swimming and I had used their early start as a chance to get a headstart on the washing.

I got there well before 9am to find the road was closed for a Farmer’s Market I had never known existed. So parking a few streets away I dug out the first of that day’s loose change and paid for a couple of hours at the meter. I then wandered off in the hope of a newsagent (or three) to break some £10 notes to free up change for the washing machine. Three shops later and I was the proud owner of a bottle of water, a (dairy-free!) flapjack, an espresso (one of which I’d ended up having to pay with contactless because the guy didn’t have enough change and I was too chicken to admit I didn’t need to buy anything in the first place!!) and a bulging pocket of £1 coins.

I arrive back at my car and haul three big bags of laundry three street to the launderette only to find that the launderette is staffed on a Saturday (from 9am) and the woman very kindly asks me if I need any change (she’s got loads – apparently)… I whack on a big darks wash and a smaller colours wash and go and write a blog about Costa Coffee selling Almond Milk (you should read it – it’s a great post…). Anyway, the point is, I spend all morning washing and tumble drying clothes – not the most exciting start to the weekend.

I get home to a Piglet and mummy lying dozily on the sofa listening to a children’s story to be told that he’s a bit out of sorts. He’s already had morning nap at Sainsburys on the way back from swimming and he looks dangerously close to falling asleep again. Something clearly isn’t right…

I go up to the loft and hang out all the washing that couldn’t be tumble dried and a fair bit of the stuff that could but still isn’t quite dry either and come down to find my wife washing up and Piglet fast asleep on the sofa. I decide that now would be a good time to wipe the mould off the bathroom ceiling that I’ve been meaning to do for about 18 months and come down feeling fairly pleased with myself for a productive morning. In the end we wake him for lunch only to find that he isn’t hungry and then about 20 minutes into lunch we find out why. Graphically, if you know what I mean… As in all over my wife, both of their clothes and the floor… (Orally, I should point out – for those of you with a greater imagination of parenting horrors than me…)

It’s the first time that Piglet has been ill when he’s been old enough to really comprehend what’s happening to him and communicate about it. He was very clear that the reason that daddy spent the next hour handwashing (yet more) clothes and scrubbing the floor was because of what had come ‘out of his mouth’. Having wrung my hands raw – Piglet decided that his ‘tummy hurt’ again about 40 minutes later and this time I was scrubbing the bathroom floor (wooden floorboards in each – you can just imagine). The rest of the afternoon was spent very much lying down and having cuddles – I’m not sure quite who’s benefit for more.

As a result, Saturday was spent just literally cleaning things and comforting a poorly, fragile toddler. He was feeling much better by the evening but still woke up multiple times, clearly upset and distressed by the events of the day and feeling sorry for himself. A tiring claustrophobic day combined with a start-stop night meant that we were determined to get out of the house on Sunday.

Piglet seemed up for it. He didn’t eat a huge amount for breakfast but then clearly got a second wind once he was up and dressed, finishing off a plate of pancakes (I took the previous recipe and went rogue with added cinnamon and raisins) and melon. We decided to pack whatever lunch we could fashion together into a bag and get in the car to remember what fresh air smelt like. Piglet got a new coat, fleece and rucksack in the sales just after Christmas and these were used as blatant encouragements to get him to embrace a trip out into the cold. (It wasn’t cold enough to wear the thermal base layers that I’d also bought in the sale once I’d really got into the swing of things (is there a verb for the shopping you do when you’re trying to chase the ‘free delivery minimum payment’? There should be if there isn’t.)

Lunch consisted of another 2018 classic: Sausage Rolls, onion rings, crudités and rice cakes and it was surprisingly nice all sat on a bench, overlooking the lake at Black Park eating our lunch. We managed to keep the sausage rolls hot by warming them in the oven and stuffing them into a warmed thermos before we left. They came out piping hot although the onion rings were a little on the limp side. We also shared a chocolate and orange tea infusion – although we had to keep adding cold water (even for the adults) as my new Kleen Kanteen flask was so effective – I scalded my lip on the first sip!

The next part of the trip was lovely – we’d brought his balance bike with us, and while he mostly just wanted to push it, he clearly loved being kitted up in his warm clothes and racing around in the woods. We (when I say ‘we’ for good ideas I inevitably mean my wife) also invented a new game where we took one of his lesser cared for soft toys and declared him an ‘outside’ teddy; taking turns to hide him in random parts of the wood so that Piglet had to go searching for him. He would beam with delight time and time again when he found him halfway up a tree, or partially hiding under some leaves, or (cruelly) hiding back in his cycle helmet when it was time to hint at going back to the car. We don’t do it enough but the three of us just idling round in the woods without a care or a deadline was wonderful. Piglet couldn’t have seemed happier (in between temper tantrums over deciding where people needed to start the races for or complaining that we weren’t following the leader/driver/dictator – delete as appropriate).

It was made clear that, by spending the day in the wood, my wife will not have had time to make it to any shops before my birthday (on Thursday, have I mentioned that?). So share a thought for me when I wake up on the big day to unnecessarily large window of ETA from the washing machine engineer and very little comprehension of what a birthday is from my son. Using the washing machine fix as a reason to stay at home with him all day will, I’m sure, be recompense enough.