Letter to Father Christmas

Dear F-diddy Christmerry!
We saw a documentary about you on Friday night. I hope you’re making the transition from Marketing Executive to Santa Claus. Although I think it was set in the 80s so you’re probably quite used to it by now (love to Charlie!).

2023 has been a pretty full-on year in our household. We welcomed Griffin (likes mashed potato and wooden toys if you’re looking for inspiration) into our family in May, in fairly exceptional circumstances! But our planned relocation to Witney fell through the next day (please note we didn’t move to Witney in the end, the family who live their got our dream house; please don’t give them our presents too!!). So we’re bursting at the seams a bit here near Windsor. Commuting to the office for work has become harder too so I’ve struggled to separate ‘home’ and ‘work’ but it does mean I’ve continued to see a lot of my kids though (silver linings and all that). Piglet and Dragon continue to be phenomenal little children, through all their strengths and intricacies (you know we don’t buy into the whole ‘naughty or nice’ thing; I hope that still sits OK with you?).

My interests still continue to revolve around coffee and all that goes with that. I’ve really developed my barista skills and have even managed to produce some rough rosetta latte art. I can leave one out for you on the big day if you want? Might help counteract some of the brandy and sherry?! I have also developed quite an interest in neurodivergence in children and adults. But I think that might drive requests for next year more than this…

In terms of clues/hints/requests/demands for things to put under the tree/at the end of the bed, we would really like to move next year. Anything you can do to help make it easier to see this house would be great – and please do tell the reindeer to be gentle on the roof! Most of the things I want these days can’t be given as presents: resilience to cope with the stresses of work; more time (and better quality time) with my family – especially a few date nights with Mrs Allergen Dad; some release from the financial pressures of a rising cost of living against internalised expectations etc…. But I’m not above a few materialistic delights… Anything coffee based gets a big ‘yes’: I’d quite like to get more into filter/pour over coffee so a hand-grinder, a Hario V60, subscriptions to new coffees would all help that. If you’re thinking a little bigger, I do feel very guilty about driving around a diesel guzzling SUV while pushing the merits/requirements of decarbonisation and those new VW ID. cars look pretty neat, don’t they? I particularly like the ID.4 but haven’t checked that you can get 3 child seats in the back – please do check before splashing those sorts of figures, won’t you? It’s certainly a more sustainable request than the old Aston Martins you sensible declined to get me as a child.

I suspect I just wouldn’t have time these days but I do miss my console-playing yesteryears. If you can arrange the metaphysical double-whammy of ‘time’ and a PS5, I’m very happy to buy a couple of games off my own back. Although a decent 4k TV would really bring out the best of a new console ;)! Alternatively, I’ve been really enjoying revisiting and furthering my knowledge of quantum physics recently. I’m sure there must be some further material available to help advance that.

With a bit of perspective though, I realise that budgets might be a little tighter than normal this year. The combined effects of the Russian invasion of Ukraine and the shambolic chaos of our current (UK) government have certainly left a dent in the old balance sheets! I also appreciate that there are those who need it more than us this year. Hopefully we’ll move next year and so there will be plenty more things we’ll need by Christmas next year. So do look after those who need it more this year.

Love to you and all the elves. Hope the logistics of the big day go well. I don’t think people appreciate how much mass increases when you’re travelling at the sort of speeds you need to get to all those houses in one night. Relativity sure is counter-intuitive! Viva la revolution!

Merry Christmas,
Louis (AllergenDad)

P.S. We don’t do cow’s milk in our house so if you do want a coffee on the 25th let me know if oat or almond is OK?