Hello Dark-roast my old friend…
So I revisited an old friend this week. Not a full-on re-acquaintance by any means; more like trying something new with one that wears the same aroma as one who used to be very close. I made sure to reduce the temptations – nothing too sweet. Certainly not the hardcore buzz or hit I used to get, years ago, although it felt somehow naughty or mischievous as I once more experienced the full bodied taste on my lips. That said, it left me feeling empty. Unsatisfied. Cheapened, even. It turns out a sugarless decaf almond milk latte just doesn’t do it for me in the same way that my old super sweet Continental strength espressos used to…
I mentioned back in an old post that I’d given up coffee for a number of reasons. I’ve never been particularly clear (with myself) about exactly what that means. For example, I’ve never given up things like dark-chocolate or cacao powder (in smoothies etc…). Both of those definitely contain caffeine, although nowhere near the amounts that I used to have in my espressos. In comparison though, I have stopped drinking all caffeinated drinks such as coffee, tea, green tea etc… For some reason I included decaf versions as well. Partially because I knew they still contained coffee but mostly because I wanted to change my habits rather than just the chemical content of my drinks. I was spending a not inconsiderable amount of money on coffee so to continue without the caffeine seemed to miss the point.
That said, I’d never explicitly said to myself that I wouldn’t ever drink decaf. If I’m completely honest with myself (and you) I think I was a little bit worried that I would slip back into an old habit if I tried it and liked it. So it was an odd dilemma I found myself in last weekend while ordering a decaf almond milk latte for my wife and an almond milk babyccino for Piglet: do I really deny myself one? It had been a tough weekend. I can’t remember exactly why but sleep had been a scarce commodity and both me and my wife were tired and in dire need of a ‘pick-me-up’. There just didn’t seem to be any argument against having one.
Considering I’m trying to eat (and drink) more sensibly – I couldn’t justify having sugar (as I would usually have had) and they’d used an unsweetened almond milk so there really wasn’t any sweetness to mask the dark bitterness of the coffee. Great from the point of view of my diet; less so for the sake of my taste buds. The first sip was bliss. Just the fond memory of the rich, heady aroma of coffee that I hadn’t had for months. But as I drank more and more of it I found my insatiable coffee thirst was quenched surprisingly easily. About half way through I found myself wondering whether I wanted to finish it.
Granted, I’ve never been the biggest fan of lattes, even when I was a regular coffee drinker; so it may just have been too much – but I was surprised how little appeal the drink held after a few mouthfuls. It wasn’t bad. It just wasn’t great.
As if almost to prove that I was right to doubt my self-discipline (and my wife doesn’t know this yet – at least not until she reads it here…). I did end up having a second decaf latte later that week. Mostly on the hope, I suspect, of my old coffee-drinking-partner hearing that I might be able to be re-tempted and trying to get the team back together. (Just to be clear, I didn’t stop seeing this friend just because we didn’t drink coffee any more together…). This latte was made with a sweetened oat milk and I must admit was slightly more enjoyable. But I think I’d realised by that point that it wasn’t going to become a new regular event anyway. We’ll see but I think it’ll be an occasional perk at best. At least, that is until I go back to the place where the whole coffee obsession began…
…But that’s a comment for another blog post…